Parents: Getting Ready For Your Children’s Exams

careerpathimg_2This is a season of exams, with finals in just a couple of months. Those whose children are studying in Class 10 and 12 are gearing up to tackle the looming challenge.

It is the children who are writing the exams but parents have a challenging time interacting with their kids. It appears as if, no matter what you say, how you say and when you say, any exchange with children is like a minefield of hidden word bombs. You never know when one will explode, causing distress in the house.

Here are a few tips on how to talk to your children before and during exams.

1. No right or wrong study methods
Each child has his or her own technique and rhythm of studying. Some can study the whole day, some need frequent breaks, some study better in the morning, some study better in the night. There is no rule which stipulates that students study the best in a particular way. Allow them to set their own rhythm. If you express strong opinions on their study methods, the focus shifts from actually studying to other issues. It doesn’t help when you say, “When I was in Class 10th I used to study…..”

2. Talking about the future
It is natural for parents to make their children aware of the future, a better future if they do well in academics. But a month before the exams is not the time to warn them with “if you don’t study well, you will become a chaparasi or sell idly on the roadside”. Instead, say that a good academic performance will open up more opportunities for you and you will be able to do what you wish to do. Otherwise, you will have to study and work what is available.

3. Do not compare
Avoid comparison with other children and their study methods. It is the worst sin you can commit. You will end up irritating your children if you constantly compare them with their friends or neighbors or relatives.

4. It is ok if they don’t know what they wish to do
If your child doesn’t yet have the grand blueprint for his or her life ready before exams, it is ok. They can work on it after the exams. There is enough time and space to do it then. Do not put pressure on children or make them feel as though there is something wrong if they are unable to make up their mind.

5. Do not nag, nag, nag
The Biggest Sin. Don’t commit the biggest sin of nagging children all the time. They simply hate it. How do you manage the balance between making sure that they are focused on studying and yet not nag? Is there an invisible line you know you should not cross, is there an app which will sound an alarm if you do it? Well, there are many ways of communicating your anxiety and opinion about your child’s preparation for exams. Write short notes, leave them on pin boards, or send messages or have gestures, signs to let your children know that you think they need to get back to studying.
Parents can prepare notes and have them handy. Make a list of words that are not confrontational, that make children feel inadequate, stupid, angry, humiliated. Be especially careful about what and how to you things in front of others. Children make a note of these efforts and appreciate them.



  • avatar
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